How To Mazimize The Number of Valuable People You Meet In Life (The Connector Exercise)

A number of people ask me how I obtained a large network of contacts (I have 3,000 names in my iPhone).

I took two of my "Connectors" to the Famous Gene and Georgetti's in Chicago

Strangely, I’ve never thought of myself as a schmoozer…I’m actually fairly introverted.

But I’ve been very lucky. A few things were in my favor:

1. Same Career Track — I have followed a fairly narrow career track of technology/media/Internet for 20 years now.
2. Social Positions — My positions have centered around other people (I was a journalist, a deal-maker, entrepreneur, etc.)
3. Decently-Organized — I’m a detail-oriented/organized-type of person and so I’ve done an ok job at entering in people’s contact information over those years

So, the 3,000 names isn’t that impressive — it really just came from 20 years times of storing an average of 100+ contacts per year.

That’s just 1 new contact I made (and stored) every 3 days. I’m sure you could do that (unless you’re a monk at a convent in which case you’re probably in the wrong place right now!).

But there is one secret I was reminded of a few years ago that I wished I had implemented earlier on in my career!

It’s only briefly mentioned on page 37 of the soft-cover version of The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell.

In a word: “Connectors.”

Here’s an exercise I’d like you to do (should take 15 minutes and be fun):

1. Get out a blank piece of paper or word processing document.
2. Make a list of the 40 most valuable people to you with one per line (exclude family).
3. To the right of each person’s name, write down the name of the person who introduced you to that person (now you have two names on each of your 40 lines).
4. Now to the right of that second name, write down the name of who introduced you to that person.
5. If you can’t remember who introduced you to a person (or perhaps you just met at school or work then leave that line alone.
6. Keep adding a person to the right of the previous person until you feel like you can’t go any further.

Here’s a snippet from my list:

• Jamie>Chad>
• Charlie>Ted>Erin
• Jen>Ted>Erin
• Lenny>Jen>Ted>Erin
• Alex>Ted>Erin
• Zack>Chris> Chad & Ted
• Bruce>Chad>
• Todd>Dave
• Mike>Dave
• Jacquie>Tracy>Erin
• Robert>Chad
• Mary>Dave

Now, you’ll start to notice that just a few people — in my case Chad, Ted, Erin and Dave — are responsible for connecting me to most my friends.

Gladwell calls these people “Connectors.”

I’m a Connector too, though not as good as my Connectors.

So, if you want to to expand your network, here are a few lessons:

1. Identify the Connectors in Your Life — Find out who they are and add value to their life (so they’ll keep introducing you to others).
2. Ask Your Connectors Who Their Connectors Are — Connectors are usually very good at having many Connectors themselves.
3. Try Being a Connector Yourself — Offer to introduce people of value to others who need help!
4. Leverage LinkedIn — Read why You Must Be Linked In, an article about that amazing networking tool.
5. Read Tipping Point.

I was inspired enough by this exercise to take Chad & Ted out for a yummy steak dinner at Gene & Georgetti’s in Chicago where I presented each of them with a personalized gift. It was of minimal value compared to the value they have given me through their Connections.

Thanks, Mr. Gladwell and thank you, Connectors!

What do you know about Connectors and Networking? Please comment below.